Look at This Fucking Hipster

Part 3 of my "Websites that make me laugh" series has picks of really fucking cool looking people. I present Look at this Fucking Hipster.


Like this guy, I wanna party with this cool fucking guy.




Pretty sure I don't want to party with this guy.




This stud here got kicked out of his D&D group for being too fucking "nerdy"

Dinosaurs were made up by the C.I.A. to discourage time travel.

Google tells me so.



Part two of my "Web sites that make me laugh" is Autocomplete.com which shows screen shots of funny Google auto completes.

http://autocompleteme.com/

Star Wars Information

Chewbacca's cousin had a very small part in Episode V but who could forget Jewbacca.




And Darth Vader's gay twin brother was left on the cutting room floor for Ep IV.



The Dark Side was hit pretty hard by the recession.



People never give Vader props for his violin playing but he shreds.



Being master of the universe requires some down time.

Websites that make me tinkle my underwears

There are plenty of websites that I go to for a good laugh and I am going to begin to showcase them here for all my loyal readers.

First up....Engrish.com

Engrish.com pokes fun at the lack of good translators in China and Japan and posts pictures of funny signs, labels, t-shirts and anything else the has an English translation written on it that hasn't been translated quite right. Some of them are so crazy that I can only imagine the Chinese dude who says to his boss, "Oh yea, I can translate that into Engrish". Do these people actually think they are correctly translating into English or is there a subculture of Chinese sign translators with fantastic senses of humor.

I don't know for sure but I do know that its not uncommon for me to tinkle in my underwear when I'm reading Engrish.com.


Here are some of my recent favorites.

Make sure to read rule #4 and #7

This sounds yummy

Ohh...this does too.

I have no idea what they are trying to say here but I like the idea of civilized urinating.

Good stuff....check back soon for part 2 of my 1,092 part serises, "Websites that make me tinkle my underwears"

Soup Fans....Don't Panic

Like most Soup fans I had mixed emotions when I saw the preview for "Community" staring Joel McHale on NBC coming this fall. I wondered, "will my boy Joel continue to host the best show on TV?" Cause if not then dang.....dang that would suck donkeyballs if he left the Soup. I mean, I hope his new show is good an all but the Soup is already super awesome.

So I was superduper relieved to find that according to Wikipedia my homeboy Joel will continue to host the Soup while "Community" airs in the fall. Now I can relax and appreciate his new venture without worrying what will come of the Soup.

Good luck Joel!

Daniel Tosh

Daniel Tosh is a damn funny comedian. I've posted a clip of his in case you've been hiding under a pile of donkey shit and haven't heard him.

So now this funny man has his own show on Comedy Central called Tosh.0 where he finds funny clips online, plays them and comments on them with his comedic stylings. The show premieres tonight so this isn't a review but rather a heads up...but If I know Daniel, and I don't but lets pretend I do, it will be fucking sweet!

Here is my boy Daniel on the interwebs...

The Soup.....Best Show on TV this Summer???

The short answer is yesssss.

I simply can't watch the trashy reality TV shows on MTV, VH1 and E channel because well....I feel dirty and like my life is passing me by when I watch them. BUT....fortunately for me....my homeboy Joel McCale and his staff at the Soup television program watch them all for me and cherry pick the juicy highlights and air them every Friday night. Add in some witty commentary from Joel McCale and viola.....best show on TV this summer.

There will be many clips posted on here from the Soup but lets start with a good one from last weeks show. Please excuse the video quality...its worth it.

Most Awesomest Bands of the '80s

***Update***
This post was modified because the author believes that the negativity of the original post gave the "Hello I blog Now" blog a bad image. Positive thoughts make people positively positive!


1)Talking Heads


This one is pretty self explanatory. The Talking Heads are fucking awesome. Although they formed in the late 1970s the bulk of their material is from the 1980s and its a pretty sick library of music. I'm not sure which album I'd recommend first but you can't go wrong with "Fear of Music" or "Little Creatures". Of course Phish phans would say listen to "Remain in the Light" dude...Phish covered that shit on Halloween man so it has to be good.

And the DVD of "Stop Making Sense" is in the top two all time of music DVDs...the Bands "The Last Waltz" is some sweet shiz too.

Here is a sweet '80s pic of the Talking Heads




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2)Camper Van Beethoven

If you think CVB's only two songs are "Take the Skinheads Bowling" and their sweet cover of "Pictures of Matchstick Men" then you are an ignorant donkey lover. CVB's first album "Telephone Free Landslide Victory" is one my top 10 albums of all time. This album is a raw sounding mix of ska, punk, country and Eastern European folk. That description sounds like I'm trying to be funny but that is what this album is. Oh man, I'm going to listen to it while I finish this post........ooooh damn this shit is good.

One thing I really like about CVB is their focus on the music. Many of their songs are instrumentals and they splendidly mix violin, banjos, and organs with traditional rock instruments making some really nice sounding music. They wrote damn good lyrics too, some funny some weird but all good.

I also highly recommend their album "Our Beloved Revolutionary Sweetheart". And yes, their album names have 4 words in them, so what dude?

Here is a nice black and white.......
















I do think the Cure and the Smiths deserve honorable mention but they aren't so good that they need a fucking write up. Oh yea and REM too.

Eastbound and Down

Two things that make a great comedy are excessive use of foul language and characters that abuse drugs. HBO's new comedy series "Eastbound and Down" does a wonderful job of blending these things together resulting in comedic gold.

E&D stars Danny McBride who stole the show in his few scenes in Pineapple Express as well as Tropic Thunder and is destined for greatness. His delivery is genius and reminds me of Will Ferrell who is actually a producer of the show as well as appearing in the 2nd episode.

The gist of the show is a washed up major league pitcher who left the league in disgrace after using steroids as well as being openly racist and generally belligerent. That is just the backdrop though, what we get to experience is some of the funniest and most in your face comedy ever recorded.

There are so many quotes I could post here that made me piss my panties but instead I'll just put up the entire first episode. Enjoy.

Oh wait, I will post one solid quote, "I'm the man who has the ball, I'm the man that can throw it faster than fuck so that is why I'm better than everyone in the world, kiss my ass and suck my dick, everyone."

***UPDATE***

I had the entire pilot episode here but it was taken down for copyright reasons which sucks because it is IMHO the greatest pilot episode of a comedy show ever!!!

American Idol

George Ramirez is why I watch American Idol. I don't watch this show to see who can sing the best. Once the tryouts are over the show sucks azzz. I watch it to see the socially awkward, mentally challenged and hilariously hilarious. Mostly I watch because it makes me feel so normal.

And so here is George Ramirez who is certainly the most awesome contestant in recent memory. All George wants in life is a house with nice floors.





"Ooooh look, no ticket"

Bigger is better

The University of Alabama recently approved plans to expand Bryant-Denny stadium in the South end zone. When completed the stadium will hold over 101,000 peoples which will rank 5th in the NCAA.

Despite being 5th in overall size, it will be #1 in the totally awesome rankings.

Here is why...

The 4 stadiums larger that Bama's will be:

1)Penn State's Beaver Stadium 107,000.
This place looks like someone threw up on the construction blue prints and nobody ever noticed. The seats are in all the wrong places, addition here, skyboxes over there, "lets put a double decker over here in the corner". Yuck.

2)Michigan's Stadium 106,000.
The original "superstadium" would be #1 in the totally awesome rankings if it were 1956. Its pretty insane that this place held over 100,000 back then and its hard not to respect the big house. However, this place is so flat that the noise escapes too easily and the spectators in the back are 3.4 miles from the field.

3)Ohio State's Horseshoe 102,000.
What a dump. There is almost nothing about Ohio State that I like and this piece of dog crap is certainly no exception. I don't feel like this cement trap deserves the energy needed to make anymore keystrokes....

4) Tennessee's Neyland Stadium-102,000
I actually like this place despite the fact that it should only hold 85,000. They shrunk their seats sizes so that even Nicole Richie would feel cramped. This doesn't jibe well with Tennessee's obesity rankings but oh well. This place is loud, very loud. Lots and lots of hillbillies decked out in their hunting orange screaming for the Vols. This place would rank #2 in the totally awesome poll if I bothered to go past #1 which I didn't.



The new and improved Brant-Denny will be even louder and more beautifuller than it is today and its pretty damn loud and beautiful now. It will be completed for the start of the 2010 season.

How to lose $800,000

Phil Ivey, a well known poker player and notorious big bet gambler, made a couple of large bets on the 2009 Superbowl last week totaling $1.6 Million. He bet the Cardinals for $800,000 which at +7 covered easily but his halftime bet will go down as one of the sickest gambling stories ever.

Ivey took the Cardinals in the first half at +3.5 for another $800,000. Anyone watching the game knows the rest of this story but for anyone who didn't watch let me recap. With less than 20 seconds left in the half and a score of 10-7 Steelers, the Cardinals were on the 5 yard line about to score at least a fieldgoal. The only way Ivey looses his massive bet is if Kurt Warner throws an interception and the Steelers return it 100 yards for a touchdown.

Oooops.


I don't know how to caption a photo yet but if I could in this pic Phil would be saying, "Kurt Warner did whaaaaaaaaat?"

Hello I blog Now

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